BE YOU!

That is it! I have had enough! I can’t keep on doing this, with no end in sight. I was not born to suffer (or was I), there must be more to life than this! I am tired, worn out, fighting demons on a daily, failing, low, crushing under the weight that is pushing me down, losing my mind, cringing at the very thought of seeing another day & to top it all, time is not stopping. 

Who said that you journey is cast on stone or cement (I definitely didn’t)? Is it written somewhere that from now henceforth, this is how it shall be & that you should stick to the script. ‘Adulting’ has internationally been declared a scam that has no stage to get off. You wake up to face the day that is meant to be, only to wish for the evening that is yet to come to draw closer like a lost lover. 

Turning left, right & around you & all that you get engulfed is a gray cloud of how the world does not want to play fair. Well then, don’t play by the rules but rather make your own. We do have people whom we call our bosom buddies, our ride & die, our avengers, & our one call away in all times (keep them close). It is said that family is not always your blood. 

Did you know that not everyone who says that they are your true friend have your best interest at heart & your back. They could be your enemy looking for a soft spot to stab you in your back. Take a moment to analyze whether the people you surround yourself with have your best interest in mind or they are there to ensure that you burn all bridges that built you, stay woke! 

A wise person once said, “People do not mature with age, the mature with damage”. There are things that we do not talk about publicly because they are deemed taboo or things to keep in-house. This is the sad reality that is in this world (not the next),”People are silently dying of depression but can’t tell nobody because you all gossip about them instead of helping them”. 

Think about that for moment & see if that is true or is it part of the figment of my disillusioned imagination. Where we disappear like smoke whenever someone confides in you & tells you they are going through this or that & that they are drowning in it, gasping for air whenever they can. I am not saying it is a must to be there for others but what would you want someone to do if you were in that shoe that pinches. 

As it is really funny that when you treat others how they treat you, many feel offended, think about that. One day you are going to wake up & you are not going to have any more time, to do the things you always wanted to do. Things change, friends leave & life does not stop for anybody. If you want to let loose, do so, knowing that there is no rewind button to your reaction to the action & you can’t swallow the words once spit out. 

There are three things that everybody needs to come to terms with in life:

1.    Your mental health is way more important than your career will ever be

2.   You become an unstoppable force, when you realize that you can do it alone

3.   Be okay with people not liking you, because nowadays people barely like themselves

We live in a world where people buy things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t like. Seek wisdom to prevail in your life & as you forge forward remember you are not an island. No person ever got to the top by themselves, there were places they had to get stepping stones to elevate them to their greatness.

“If your absence doesn’t bother them, your presence never meant anything to them”.

Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that does not make you who you are. It is the rest of your story that makes you who you choose to be. If all it takes to make your day brighten up is laugh, laugh till your lungs hurt or tears drip down your face or even pee a little bit. If your thing is to crack jokes, let them out if even if they are as dry as the Kalahari Desert. 

If your thing is to be a shoulder to others, be so. This life we are in, has no repeat, no rewind or even a pause, as You Only Die Once (YODO) & You Only Live Daily (YOLD). Take a moment to check on that friend, colleague, family member or even a stranger. It will not cost you the breath in your lungs because you said a complete sentence to them. 

Saying even, “Hi, how are you doing”, bears more weight than you can imagine. A phone call, text message (if this is still being used), a WhatsApp message/call or even a written card, may brighten the day of one in more ways than you could comprehend. It will not drain a pint of blood from you when check up on one another nor will it make your economy collapse. Know Better, Do better!

Exodus 14:14 says that God will fight for you, and all you have to do is be still. God knows exactly what you are facing and all He wants you to do is to trust Him, not only is He handling it but He is handling it better than you ever could.

Dear heavenly Father, I just pray over this tiredness. Father God this is frustrating. I am trying everything I can to fix my situation. Jehovah Jireh, maybe I am leaning a little bit too much on my own understanding & my own strength, God I pray for breakthrough in my situation and I pray for breakthrough for the way that it should go. In your will & in your timing, give me peace during this time. Give me the strength & the wisdom. I pray over anxiety & depression, I pray over the broken hearted, Lord being a broken hearted person is so tough & then I realize you will always be there, but others won’t always be there & that you can help me connect the dots & all is frustrating, the tough trials that I may be going through that Lord Jesus you will be with me. In Jesus Holy name I pray, Amen!

NOW YOU SEE ME!

Promise me that you will take care of it (promise me). I have given you a bit of me to keep you going through the tough, rough & weary times. Do not under any circumstance let it be all for nothing. I have stood the test of time & have held your hand, day in & day out as you forge forward in this world. 

We shall meet in the next one, where we shall all be at rest with little to no worry. It has been a breath taking journey to know you. You have been precious to me & I will not let you go. As the sun sets in the horizon, hold dear what I have treasured with you. 

I shall continue to guide you through the maze of living, as you shed of the mask that you have snuggly gotten comfortable hiding behind. Let loose your emotions, do not let them put you down as you bleed on the inside wondering to whom shall I turn to. I am right here next to you, my hand stretched out to lead you to the light. 

The path having being treacherous, you shall pull through & at last you shall be whole. There are battles that are raging inside of you (I feel you), remember that you are not alone. It may seem like the world is a dark place but remember, even when the clouds block the sun it is still shinning. 

We are here to be the fire & light in each other’s lives & no matter what war we are in, do not let this world make you a cruel, heartless person, be a better you.

Four things that you learn as you grow older:

    1. You can’t make real friends with fake people

    2. You sit back and observe, you realize not everything deserves your response

    3. You learn to trust your intuition

    4. The older you get the less you feel the need to be included.

On a daily we walk (or is it run) on thin ice as we strive to make it to the end of the day/night. There is usually no guarantee that tomorrow the sun will rise for you, that is why today is a gift hence it is called the present. This life is unpredictable like a storm, which though you can see coming, you are never too certain/sure if it will cross your path & cause all manner of mayhem. 

We are not islands that is why each & every single one of us is connected. It is tiring growing up, one of the most famous quote says, “with great power comes great responsibilities”. No matter how you prepare yourself for life, it comes with no manual that can be followed to the tee, rather you get caught up in turbulences of unfathomable proportions. 

Learning day by day that the journey is unique in its own nature. I will tell you this, “Do not let someone dim your light simply because it is shining in their eyes”. Remember that you may have not gone where you intended to go, but you will end up where you need to be. 

How we view this realm we live in through our eyes only shows us from our perspective & not how others see it. If we let in others you may get a different angle of the working of things & not just the one sided view.

“Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that does not meant they have to pay for them the rest of their lives. Sometimes, good people make bad choices. It does not mean they are bad, it means they are human”.

At what time today or days before, did you check up on your family, friend, colleague(s) or acquaintance(s) or even strangers? I did not say it is a must to do so but it is unfortunate that we live in a time where it has become survival is for the fit. No one cares about the other but rather for self & one’s own.

We have been caught up in the whirlwind where no one shows any interest in the wellbeing of another. It is a miserable state of affairs when all we can do is think about ourselves. What does it cost you to say, “Hi, how are you today or how have you been”? 

Even if it is a text & since we are in the current times a ‘whatsapp message’ can suffice. A 30 seconds call with someone will not finish your air-time nor make your phone switch off. A hug may mean more than you can imagine, that warm embrace calms one. A smile can brighten one’s day or even evening. All what I am saying is that it does not take much to check on each other, but hey am not the law, do you!

As we traverse through this world, family is not whose blood you carry, it is who is there for you when no one else is no matter the odds. Did you know that doubt killed more dreams than failure ever will?

There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some people will test you, some will use you, some will bring out the best in you, but everyone will teach you something about yourself. Sometimes God will put a Goliath in your life, just to bring out the David in you. 

There are people in your view that are having a party because they think you lost. There are people celebrating, thinking you never going to get to your not yet, but I have discovered that what God ordains man can not contain.

Dear heavenly Father, I submit my mind, heart and will to you. Help me to see clearly what your plan is for me. Help me to stay close to you always, not living in the past but pressing forward to the new things you have in store for me. In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray. Amen!

 

THE RAGING STORM!

Is it just me or is the weather playing Russian roulette with us. One time it is freezing cold, another time it is scorching hot, then again goes back to the default setting of chilling cold. This makes it a funny situation when you are leaving the house clad in warm clothing, only for the sun to say surprise! Proceeding to boil you from the inside out or when you are lightly dressed & it is all crispy clear outside with the sun up high, then all of a sudden grey clouds rush in, escorted by the chilly biting winds making you wonder what voodoo is this. 

For the one who is worried: “Do not be afraid, I am with you, let nothing terrify you!. I will make you strong and help you; I will protect you and save you” Isaiah 41:10

I wonder in amazement as to the extent of which the times we live in, everything is becoming more & more unpredictable to the extent one keeps on questioning his/her own sanity. How are surviving each moment is a miracle in itself. No time is it easy or hard, it is all mixed up like a cocktail. You can end up scratching your head till you become bald, all because of the constant thinking you have to go through. 

When you are on the streets it is like the sequel of the fast & furious franchise. The mere thought of crossing one street to another is an extreme sport without the lack of a motorcycle trying to knock you down or a car/bus trying to run you over or people in a hurry trying to crash you to death. 

We are in the trying times that when you get home, you thank your Maker for seeing you through it all. Lo & behold, when you switch on the lights you discover you forgot to pay the electricity bill. You step in the shower, only droplets are coming out, that is the day the water company decided to flex its muscle. You go to fire up the gas cooker to prepare a hot meal, only withering ambers of fire can be seen before suddenly dying, all because you didn’t get your gas cylinder replaced/refilled. 

You open your fridge for a snack, it looks like a vacant parking lot. At this time, you are asking yourself, who did I wrong because this is getting out of hand. Anyway, here we are survivors of the days that have been & the nights that have passed. Striving to make a difference in our world so that we can have a brighter & better future. However, there are instances the odds are stacked up against us & not in our favour as it becomes the moment of us against the world, leaving us muttering under our breaths, “it is what it is”. 

The rules of engagement have changed & the times have evolved. We are on a learning curve day by day, on this wondrous journey called living, as we seek serenity, tranquility & the next big thing. Did you know that when you check up on somebody else whom you know, that it will not finish the breath of air in your lungs? When you follow up to see if a friend/colleague/family is okay, it will not cost you a dime? You will never know what it means when another person receives a message from you saying, “Hi, how are you doing today?”. 

The impact of your voice, when another person receives a phone call from you, hearing your voice, far from the noise in their head. The wonder that small courtesies have are unimaginable. It is not your burden to bear if your find this is too much of a task to handle, this is not an exam to pass. 

We are all raised differently & have various ways we interact with others. It is the reality that not everyone cares about you, wonders about you, is concerned about you, believes in you, wants the best for you, is there for you, prays for you or even worries about you but rather judges you, mocks you, talks behind your back, hates you & so forth. 

We are in a cruel world where it is every man/woman for him/herself & the rest be damned. It is not all cast on stone that we are always having great times when we are jolly & generous mood. There was a story I read sometime back & I would like to share with you here it is: 

“This was a story of a surgeon called in urgently to the emergency room for a seriously injured young boy. The surgeon arrived as soon as he could, only to be confronted by an irate father for being late and accusing the surgeon of being uncaring, self-centered and money-driven. It was an ugly scene. The surgeon remained calm, apologized and told the father, he would do all he could to help his son. Even this, did not appease the father and he continued to verbally harangue the surgeon. After the surgery, the surgeon spoke to the father, explained that all went well and full recovery was expected. He then promptly left. The father told the OR nurse he couldn’t believe how callous and cold the surgeon was, first for being late and second for being so brusque with his departure after the surgery. The nurse then told him the reason behind the surgeon’s behavior. The surgeon had been late because his son was killed in an accident a few days before. He was actually at his son’s funeral when he was called back to the emergency department. She told the father, 'He left his own son’s funeral so he could come & save your son'. The man was left dumbfounded and did not say another word".

Here are 3 love notes from God:

1.    You don’t have to keep chasing after things that try to diminish your worth but even when you do, know that I am chasing after you because of how valuable you are to me.

2.   That last thing may have caught you by surprise but it didn’t catch me, so know this I am not disappointed in you and it is nothing that my grace can’t handle.

3.   Even when it’s one entire chapter it does not mean that it is the whole book.

Remember this, the loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest, the most damaged people are the wisest all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer like they did.

PASSING BY!

How did I get myself in this situation? At first it felt so sweet, adventurous, hidden & no one the wiser. Look at me now, my relationship is sinking fast like a ship with gaping holes readying to get lost at the bottom of the ocean. Why did I have to talk behind his/her back? What was I thinking? Look at all the damage that I have done. What have I now become: mean, angry, jealous, selfish & self-centered, all for what? I am losing family & friends quicker than I can say. “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”. 

I am constantly worried by the mere thought of, what if! Yet before, I was a free spirit minding my own & caring more of what I thought of myself than what others thought of me. To stumble is not to fall & to be or not to be that is indeed the question. I am not okay. I am holding onto life by a very thin blade of grass, grasping at what I can, not to fall. The rope wound up round my wrist bites deep into my flesh, as I refuse to let it go. 

Fearing that if I do, I will fall with nothing to keep me safe & secure. No time do we feel comfortable with the unfamiliar but rather are unsettled. We fear what we don't know & hide behind the known. I am not okay. It burns on the inside, like a searing pain etched in my brain. Why does it hurt so much? The weight of it all is way more than anticipated or expected. It was all a lie, to be grown & independent. It is not every time that you hear the war cry that you have to arm yourself ready for war. 

There are moments when you just have to let go of your battle gear & just walk away. It is wise to note that not every action requires a reaction. At times, getting that peace of mind matters more than what the society thinks of you. Each moment that we have the breath of life, we need to be thankful. Seeing another day is not an automatic right. You might one day experience the light at the end of the tunnel moment with no return policy. 

Such are the moments that scare people the most as they are unpredictable like the coming of Christ. There you are, one day just minding your own business then poof all of a sudden you disappear like mist. You better watch out how you carry yourself in this realm as it is not a permanent gig. Do you recall when you were young, your parents or guardians always undertook to take photos of the moment. This was so as to preserve the precious memories unlike the current times when selfies & quick snaps are for clout. 

Times have changed but how we conduct ourselves at the get go is the determination of the trajectory of what we hope our lives will take. No one prepares you for life, it has no manual & every day is a school day as class is in session. New things pop up every now & then & you are left wondering how am I going to survive this. There is a harsh reality outside there. When someone is treating you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. You ought to know your worth, for no coin resembles the other no matter how you aim to create perfection. 

We are all forged in different fires to come out as we are. Ready or not, you will be thrown into the real world to fend for yourself. The question that will be ringing in your ears will be, “can I handle this?’. You better brace yourself for the scorching fire that shall descend upon you like the hail of Sodom & Gomorrah. Keep yourself in check & have set principles that become your beacon to others of who you are. If I may ask, “if your name is called out loud amongst your peers will it be one, others would be comfortable being associated with or would it be one, others will want to be distanced with like the black plague?”. 

Your walk on this earth ought to leave a legacy behind that generations to come will look up to & not cower from it. Do you know what the saddest thing is? The people who are most hurting, who are broken, who are suffering, who are in pain, they will do absolutely anything for anybody. This is because they do not want anyone else going through that pain, that suffering but in doing so, they even break even more because no one else does that for them.

“When I say I am blessed. I don’t mean money or material things. I mean situations that were sent to destroy me but didn’t even touch my soul”. 

When someone is not right for you, God is going to allow that person to disappoint you, disrespect you, embarrass you & maybe even make you feel like you are alone when you are with them until you have no choice but to leave. Sometimes you need to feel the pain and sting of defeat to activate the real passion and purpose that God has predestined inside of you. God says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. 

There is always a test before promotion. God will give the hardest battles to the strongest warriors. So, understand that before the next blessing walking in your life, it’s going to be a test. Anything that is worth having if going to be hard to get. You have got to be able to see that what it is that you are going through right now, you feel like it is killing you, is really just preparing you for what God has got coming next. 

Dear Lord, thank you for the breath in my lungs this morning. Thank you for waking me up & giving me another chance at this life. Thank you for this warm day & the roof over my head. I am sorry God for anything that I take for granted on a daily basis. Please posture my heart to see all the good in today. I pray that you would protect me, replacing anxiety with peace & worry with joy. Blanket me in your strength as you fight battles for me. I pray that you would open doors that need to be opened & slam shut the ones that you need closed. I pray for my heart, that it would seek refuge in you before anything else. Lord, please make me a vessel for your kingdom & if things don’t go as planned, please remind my heart that your plan is far greater. Let my eyes see & my ears hear your voice today. Amen!!!

WE MOVE FORWARD!

Aluta Continua! The soldiers marched on with stern faces, expressionless, determined to win the war that had been waged unceremoniously. They were the last resort that had to be looked up to as all else had failed. Their Commander barking orders left, right & center, eager to have a face-off with the enemy. 

It was going to be cold nights & hot days as the weather seemed to sense the feeling in the atmosphere. Left – Right, Left – Right, Left – Right, Left – Right, Forward March! Off they go marching steadily, weapons at the ready, with bayonets sharpened to the extent it could cut a piece of paper in strips. 

Each side of the divide readying itself for the bloody outcome. This, with the full instructions of their leaders to leave no survivors, they rallied them, cheered them on & pushed them on, to go out in a blaze of glory to regain back their motherland. This is indeed the cost of war, sacrifices have to be made, preparations done, loses expected, wins anticipated & a fulfilling end in the horizon. 

When we are traversing through life as adults we get to experience the true meaning of what it means to be one. The transit is one of a kind for each & every one of us that when we put our feet up on the table we go like, “what a day”. No one gears you up for the day to be as you plan your next course of action to fend for yourself. 

You find yourself thrown from the frying pain directly into the fire & gasoline added to the flames. You will either come out burned to a crisp or forged into fine steel. There are times you are asked, where are you going? You answer home. You are further asked where is home? 

I would answer, home, is a place where I can go, to take the weight of the world off my shoulders. I am assuming others would say home is where they current physically live. No one wants to face the reality that we are stuck on the material & the things of the world. Our belief is of the things that we can taste, see or touch. 

There is so much pain out here that we don’t talk about it. Most of the times, when we are with our click we make it look like as if everything in life is going on smoothly with no setbacks. I can’t fault anyone considering that when we were brought into this world our programming was that you should keep it to yourself & brave the pain. 

Why should you keep it all bottled up like a jinni in a lamp. We ought to let loose, that is why we have books that one can get engrossed in, exercises that we can do, sports that we can participate in, adventures we can be part of, social factions that we can join, talk to someone you trust & can lean on & so forth. 

We are all going through a lot & one thing I can tell you, is you need to get out from behind the bars of the prison that is your mind. Yes, life is not fair. Yes, we are getting tired on a daily. Yes, we are in a chaotic economic times. Yes, we have a lot of bills to handle. Yes, a good number of people are living hand to mouth. 

Yes, we are having major wars between countries. Yes, the rona is still with us. Yes, the price of things is absurd. Yes, life is feeling like a battle field. However, you need to take a moment, sit down & reflect on the blessings in your life. You ask which ones. 

Let me give you but a few examples: you are alive today & breathing, you have the use of your limbs it may not be all of them but some of them, you have food to fill your belly, you have clothes to cover your nakedness & protect you from the elements, you have a place you can live in, you have people who love you & so on. 

Let it not be that every time life tries to put you down, you yield in defeat. Rather clench your fists & get ready to fight for your rightful place for here it is sweat & blood to the end. There even comes a time when people leave you. Your friends might leave you, yout family might leave you. 

Those you never expected will actually distance themselves. Don't get depressed, this is God telling you, it is you & Him. God is here for you & will always be here. Nobody really tells you this, “Never let anybody make you cruel, no matter how bad you want to give the world a taste of its own medicine, it is never worth losing yourself”. 

Your own identity should not be corrupted by the ways of this world that you become so tainted that when you look in the mirror you can’t even recognize yourself. Let me tell you something that you already know, the world is not all sunshine & rainbows. 

It is a very mean & nasty place & I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees & keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, nobody is going to hit hard as life. But it is not about how hard you are hit, it is about how hard you can get hit & keep moving forward. How much you can take & keep moving forward. 

Now, if you know what you are worth, now go out & get what you are worth. But you must be willing to take the hits & not pointing fingers saying, “I am not where I am supposed to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that & that is not you. You are better than that. 

Heavenly Father, I come before you today just as I am. I am desperately in need of your miracles in my life every day. There is nothing so difficult for you. Let your mighty hands rest on everything that concerns my life. Restore joy & happiness into my life & into my family. Save me from every wall of confusion that threatens to destroy my life. I speak your miracles into everything that I do. Open wonderful doors unto me Lord. I remove everything that blocks my blessings & finances in Jesus name. Lead me Lord into prosperity. I commit my ways to you Lord, take complete charge over my life & let your will be done. Manifest yourself powerfully in my life, cause me to shine wherever I go. Let the blessings of the Lord be released upon my life. Thank you Lord for your wonderful miracles that follow me every day of my life. In Jesus mighty name I pray, Amen!

I AM OKAY!

I want you to know that I am okay, I am not saying this just for the sake of it. Thank you, for checking up on me, not many people do, as most are unbothered & some don’t care. It has been one heck of a roller coaster. Who would have thought that I will need to be forged in the hot blazing fire to come out alright? It is indeed well with my soul, for now I have attained peace & the appreciation of the very gift of life. 

Such should be the words emanating from you as you sit down knowing that someone else cares about you. Most times, it is like the world has decided you are on your own. I want you to know that someone, somewhere cares about you. It may not feel like it, but remember that even when you were growing up, there were moments you were left to do things by yourself. Learning from our actions, you would be put on that bicycle & told to cycle, after being guided for some time it would reach a point you can do it on your own. 

Off you would go by yourself knowing that there is someone watching over you. No matter how many times you fell, you knew you were going to be alright. The joy of it all being soaked in the unending love is a miracle in itself. The moment you get embraced in a warm, loving, gentle & engulfing hug from someone who means the world to you, he/she stills the volcano within from erupting. How you take on life & brace for impact is crucial for you launching yourself like a guided missile ready to hit the target.

Our journey on this realm is like no other & there are moments that you will feel like London’s bridge is burning down only to realize it is the false wall crumbling to the reality of what your destiny is meant to be. We are all gifted in one thing or another & no one is the same. Even twins though they look alike & have the same DNA marker, their finger prints are different. When you come to the realization that you are on a journey of a 1,000 miles, the very first step you take carries more weight than you know. 

Nobody really tells you this, "never let anybody make you cruel. No matter how bad you want to give the world a taste of its own medicine, it is never worth losing yourself". We are but passengers in the aircraft of life, cruising through the altitude. The storms may rage, the clouds may gather, the winds may blow but how we steer through it all, will either break us or make us. You live, you die & never mistake the truth that is, no matter what it is you have in this world you will leave it all behind you. 

When you meet with others remember that we shall all go six feet under in a box that will have tombstone that will read the words felt by your loved ones. Every action that you do or take has a reaction to it & it is upon you, even as you go about fulfilling your dreams to question yourself as to the kind of impact that you are leaving behind. There are moments that you will seek the serenity of the quiet times when you are away from others. 

Soaking in your own thoughts like the rug in a Molotov cocktail all ready to be set ablaze. One strike of the match stick & the world around you will either burn to the ground or lit up like a Christmas tree beaconing to others to drawn near for warmth. Lost you may be, but let your heart be the compass to your true nature & self. Leaving no regrets behind as time flies by with no rewind button to push. 

When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person that walked into it. When you can’t control what is happening to you, control how you respond to it as that is where your power is. We are molded by the hands of the sculptor & it is up to us to decided, 'am I in this world to build or destroy' as the choice lies with you. I am no saint & many times do I fall short of the glory of the Almighty Father up in heaven. 

One thing I have learned is, no matter how many times I fall, I will dust myself up, get up & try again. Each dawn comes with a gift as the sun rays thaws away those icy thoughts. You are greater than you think, your mind is your prisoner & you are your own warden. If you decide to let lose you would be surprised with your capability. Who said that you can’t do it? It is said that we fear that which we don’t understand & indeed the lack of knowledge makes us perish. 

We hold on tight to the rope that is tied around our waist that we don’t want to explore other options while living. Fighting tooth & nail to hang onto the old, cuddling closer to the old familiar self. What do you think will happen if you let go so that you can climb the ladder right in front of you. We are emotional beings controlled by what we feel on the inside. There are moments that you can be filled with rage/anger, clogged with pain, awash with despair, confused by love, choked with hate, tied with misery & so forth. However, when you take in your next breath of air, ask yourself, “Is that all?” No one is meant to be shackled to what life throws at them forever. 

Here is an extract from a play by Madea, “What am I supposed to do now? Get up & go on with your life! It is alright to sit around & be depressed for a minute, cry about it, do what you have to do but don’t stay in the same state for too long, get up & go on with your life. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let them go. Especially if you know, you have done everything you can do, you can sit around and having been the best man or the best woman you could be & they still want to go, let them go”. – Madea

There are 4 sentences that will make you rethink life. Number 1: happiness is not the absence of problems, it is the ability to deal with them. Number 2: feeling sad after making a decision, does not meant that it was the wrong decision. Number 3: you are not stressed because you are doing too much, you are stressed because you are doing too little of what makes you feel most alive. Number 4: the lesson you struggle with repeats itself, until you learn from it. 

If your ever get time to soak yourself in the 66 book love letter (the bible) written for us, you will pick up solutions to issues we face on a daily basis. It is key to remember, “Sometimes God closes doors because it is time to move forward. He knows you won’t move unless your circumstances force you. Trust the transition, God’s got you”. Let us pray: Dear God, if I am wrong, correct me. If I am lost, guide me. If I start to give up, keep me going. Amen!

YOU ARE TRUE TO ME!

I have reached my break point & I can't hold on any more. I think it is best if I just let go of the rope & fall into the abyss, getting engulfed with the sweet darkness. It seems that I can no longer do right by your side, I am a letdown. I drown myself in my sorrows knowing that I am unworthy. 

Why did I even come to be in existence, if all I do is go to the left & not do right by you. Who am I to keep on failing day after day after day? If I could just take one little sip of nectar, to quiet the noise & let the darkness engulf me like its long lost friend as I lay to rest for the last time. 

It will only be peace that shall surround me as I take it all in being at a place of serenity. It is so tiring that every day I have to face life head on, make decisions, live with consequences & be responsible. There are times that one holds a conversation with the ripper, as he beckons with his bony hands to draw closer, whispering ‘embrace your fate’. 

The light dimming all around you as you lift your hands in surrender, resigning to fate. No one said that the journey of life will be these torturous, every day you draw your sword, breathing heavily as you ready for battle. You must slay your foe, be it doubt, despair, stress, tiredness, fatigue, hurt, pain, instability, insecurity & so on. 

There are moments that will come that you will want to hide from the rest of the world even your own family, & as you do so, don’t forget who was there for you. As you will not want to lose those who held you close & gave you a shoulder in your hour of need. No one is an island & we can in no way rewind the hand of time. 

Those whom you cherish, keep close like a garden secret because when you will lose them your heart shall bleed & flow like the river Ewaso Ng’iro. This is the realty of life, today is a gift that is why it is called the present. As you sail through the vast ocean of woes, pondering what lays ahead, you are going to face as you brace yourself for the war ahead. 

You will become a victor in your battles, never forgetting what it is that you are forged from. Like a worthy blacksmith, hammering away at the defects, you are molded by that which you endure & bulldoze through. No great person reached their full potential by taking it easy, but rather pushing themselves to understand their true form & what it is that they can take. 

I keep on telling myself on a daily basis, “no matter how bad it is, how bad it gets, I am going to make it. If I fall, I shall try landing on my back, because if I can look up, I can get up”. I want you to know that you are not a nobody, you are a somebody, who fought his greatest battle so as to come into existence from the very womb you emerged. 

You may fall but you will not stay down, no matter how many times you burst into flames, you shall rise up from the ashes like the phoenix. We all need to stop avoiding the tough conversations because we think we are being polite or kind to people. We have to be blunt about life & the way it is taking us & how it is making us question our living. 

When we tell others what it is they want to hear, it in no way helps them but rather leaves a more damaging mark in their lives. We are who we are by the mere fact of our existence but that does not mean that we have to conform to how the world wants us to be. Here is a warning ladies & gentlemen, I would like to bring to us. Everything you murmur about, you murder, everything you grumble about, will crumble. 

n life whatever you complain about, you will not retain. Murmuring is a bold declaration to God that there is nothing that He has done for you. Every time you complain about an issue, you are throwing mud in God’s face & telling him that there is nothing that you have done for me, you don’t deserve my praise, you don’t deserve my thanks giving. 

We need to learn to be grateful for the little things in our lives, don’t let what you have built crumble because of lack of thanks giving. Life is a collection of mistakes, you will never learn if you don’t make them. Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way. When you get what you want, that is God’s direction. 

When you don’t get what you want that is God’s protection. Prepare for the things that you pray for, because sometimes the delay is your preparation. What is the real motivation, why should I live right, why should I not have relations before marriage, why should I try to follow God’s way, you know why? 

This is because when you close your eyes & take your last breath, you are going to be faced with the reality of what life is really about & now what you see, you can’t choose. You are going to see the light, you are going to see the darkness. & you are going to make a choice then but it is going to be too late because Jesus said, ‘you did not know me while I was on earth & I am going to deny you before my Father that I don’t know you.

Imagine God saying this to you, “For the person that need to hear this today, your heart will heal (Psalms:147:3), your tears will dry (revelation 21:4), your season will change (Isaiah 41:10), so rest tonight knowing that the storm will end (Matthew 8:26)”.

Dear loving God, it is a blessing to be alive today & every other day. I have no idea what today will bring my way, but I want to put my day into your able hands. In all that I do, may it be in accordance to your will. You are Jehovah Jireh, you are Jehovah Nissi. Amen! 

Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”.

GREENER INDEED!

Dear heavenly Father, I thank you, I glorify your name. I give you praise & honor for you are, for what you have done, for what you have accomplished. Father, I thank you, Lord that you are not just above me, you are not just around me, you are not just behind me, but you are with me. Lord you never leave me, nor do you forsake me. So Father I ask right now even in this moment, there are those of us right now that are dealing with loneliness, Father I pray that you would embrace us with your presence, Lord show us that you are there, Lord that you are with us, that even as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death that we may fear no evil, for you are with us. I pray that in Jesus name, Amen!!! 

Today while scrolling through the social media corridors I saw something on twitter about family. Whenever, a close family member dies let's say like your father, mother, sister or brother the supposed funeral/burial committee decides not to tell you. This so that it doesn't affect your exams if you are a candidate or your job opportunity since you are going for a crucial interview. 

Is this the right thing to do considering the discovery afterwards will be heart wrenching? Who gives such right as not to inform one of such a demise. Later on, is when you are told, "your father, mother, brother or sister passed away due to so & so". Do we really understand the effect of such actions to one or you will say, 'sitting for exams or acing that interview is more important than the knowledge of the loss of one’s family member?'  

We better check ourselves when we make certain decisions that have a longing effect on the lives of others. This is just some food for thought from what I got from what I read. I have to admit, I am really getting tired of asking, “hey when is it my turn to have something right going in life or when is it my turn to be happy” & it feels like as if am being ignored with no answer in sight.

Am sure that this is a feeling that a good number of us go or have gone through, time & time again. While we are sitting in our favorite chair at the corner, rocking back & forth to the rhythm of our heart beats, wondering when will it all come to an end & so that we can finally sit back & say it was worth the wait. It seems that every time we think that we are going to pull through & have our moment, it all comes tumbling down like the walls of Jericho. 

Anticipating that those pearly gates to our blessings shall be flung wide open & shall rain down upon us, instead of remaining shut like the Pandora box. It is key to remember that the struggles you are facing are temporary. You are not alone & people need you. Life is precious & this is your sign to not take it for granted. Keep pushing & spread some love each day. 

There are times you will question yourself as to how worthy & deserving are you of that which is held back from you. It is like an avalanche of woes follows you like the black plague. Why am I not being favoured? What you do not realize is that your time is not yet come, it may require a little nudge but eventually all will unfold in due time. It may seem like a long shot but be assured that one way or the other, that which is yours will come to you. 

It is a roller coaster out there in the world where it is survival for the fittest. At no time is one able to catch a break from what is thrown at them. In the same breath, we all identify as male, female or even intersex, facing all forms of ups & downs but still we are human beings. This life has no mercy & it is taking no prisoners. We are at war with ourselves & the world at large, fighting the very urge to give up. 

Every day is a battle which we hope to win so as to come out victorious in the war that is yet to be fought in the very end. We want it good & comfy but this is one uphill task pushing us to the very brink of collapse. No matter how you identify this world is not your home, you are merely a passerby. You are born, you live, and thereafter you leave this realm & go back to mother earth. However, we should not make it our life mission to complicate the lives of those who are slightly different from us. 

We are all equals & no matter what we do we are of one blood, no one bleeds green as far as I know. At times we need to take a stand & know that where we are, is up to us to make it better as no one will come & intervene on our behalf. You have heard of the saying that the grass is greener on the other side. I am here to tell you that is hogwash. If you water your side of the garden/grounds, it will be green as well. 

“Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming. Slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be. The top of one mountain, is the bottom of the next, so keep climbing. Don’t trust people whose feelings change with time. Trust people whose feelings remain the same even when the time changes”. 

Here is a friendly reminder that if you have a toxic family member & they try to say that blood is thicker than water. Remind them that the full quote is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. Meaning that the bonds that you choose to have in this life are stronger than the ones forced on you by your genetics. Now you know! 

I want you every time you wake up in the morning to tell yourself, “God’s timing, not mine. God’s plan, not mine. God’s will, not mine. God’s glory, not mine. God’s word, not of this world”.

AT DAWN WE ATTACK!

Hi, how are you doing? Are you okay or are you holding on to dear life. How has your week been so far? Any good or you are just relieved it has come to an end with a sigh of “thank God it is Friday”. Well, it has been an adventurous one from my end, glad that the Almighty Father has made me see it this far. Let me pray for us:

Our Father who is up in heaven, thank you for who you are to us. As your children, we come before you humbled knowing that nothing is impossible with you. My Lord, I do pray that you will cover us with the precious blood of your son Jesus Christ. Jehovah Jireh, we come before you thanking you for yet another second, minute, hour, day, week, month & year that we have been privileged to see. Almighty Father, we place our lives in your able hands & seek for you to shower us with your love, blessings, wisdom, understanding & the will to live a life for you. Thank you for being there for us & may you continue to be the light in our Slives day by day. In Jesus holy name I pray, Amen!

It is quite easy to be ripped to pieces on the inside, without anyone realizing it. I think it is assumed that words don’t affect all sides & that as a man, one is immune against being hurt. This is far from the truth, if men are to be a bit vulnerable & say what it is that is in their feels, you would be shocked to the core of the realities that lay within. 

However, it is unfortunate that we live in a society where even those who are close to us, are the very ones who hurt us the most. We are all at a different chapter of the book called our life. The paragraphs are etched with the thunder storms that are raging from all fronts, sand storms gathering in the distance & hurricanes preparing to create the unforeseeable mayhem that one can’t imagine. 

What is it about this life that we can be thankful for? All around us it is just chaos erupting like a violent volcano shattering all hopes of a better life. Well, for starters, you can be thankful that you are alive & well, you have seen another day, you have the use of all your limbs, you have shelter to protect you from the elements, you have food to fill your belly, you have clothes to cover your nakedness, you have water to quench your thirst & the hope of seeing the next day to come. No two side of a coin are the same (I haven’t forgotten there is a third side, bear with me), as both the front & the back have their own symbolism & meaning. 

Just like your life, you have & are still on a journey. Where you came from, to where you are now, where you are going & where you are meant to be is no walk in the park. It is a journey filled with tales to tell for days to come around the camp fire. No one background is the same, it may have similar touches here & there but at no instant is it alike. 

I have the privilege of being in a member of club dabbed “Team Jasho” a running club that has become like family. The people there are from all walks of life. At first one would be intimidated in interacting with the others but believe me, you would be surprised by how welcoming they are. 

When you join, you will get pushed to your limits not out of revenge but so that you can better yourself (this is not to scare you). I get asked a lot, “Do you guys only run, No!” There is a blend of running, walking, hiking, riding bikes, physical fitness & so forth. Just a few days back, I got to participate in the Kitengela Run & Ride. Let us just say, it was quite a day considering that this was in a dry, windy, scorching hot & dusty area. 

The running trails would make you want to pull the hairs from your head, strip naked, pour water on the sun or even eat a block of ice. Some of us excelled, some eat dust on a literal level, some took it easy, some enjoyed themselves, some conquered their fears, some achieved their goals, some thought they caught a glimpse of the flames of hell but most importantly we all did this as a unit. 

Why am I telling you about this, well, because before, I could not even run a kilometer & not feel like as if I had swallowed a handful of ash & that my lungs could burst at any moment notice. I still desire to achieve the pace of my dreams but I know to get there requires patience, will power, endurance as well as self-belief. Right now, I am at a better place, my endurance & pace has improved over the duration of time, I have been in this family. 

It is vital to note that we have all emerged from different situations to make us the victors that we are at this very moment. It may not feel like it with, world war three looming in the horizon, the corona pandemic shape shifting every now & then, the economy biting like a thirsty mosquito & life becoming an extreme sport of survival for the fittest. I want you to remember that if life knocks you down, try landing on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, never give up.

Remember that no one can live your life but you. This is a quick reminder we have limited time on this earth, make peace with your past & move forward. You are valued & the world needs you more than you know. If you have breathe in your lungs, then you have worth & purpose, make it count! Do not let the world weigh you down like an ships anchor by it showing you that you are useless. If you have seen today that is more than enough proof to make you stand up & say I can make it for I am blessed & highly favoured. 

There is nothing to be ashamed about in your life as that is what makes you. All we need to do is to appreciate the far we have come, the people we have evolved into & the seat that we want to take. Most times we have a tendency of feeling like as if the story of our being is something to be kept in the archives like a historical book. That, I will disagree with, for you do not know what kind of impact the choices that you made till now will have on others. Someone may learn something from it or even see what not to do.

“Life is so precious, every day is a gift. You have a purpose and this world needs you. I don’t know what you are going through, but today is a fresh start”.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH!

Let me ask you a simple question (I believe it is simple). How come, when one falls ill & has medical bills that are hefty & requiring to be paid, the ones who call themselves friends/family only chip in half-heartedly to clear the same & yet at the death of one during the funeral arrangements what is contributed is staggering, going above & beyond & going for one’s funeral is considered a road trip? It is just a question, you don’t have to hurl insults my way or throw stones at me. I only come in peace, no hidden agenda but rather looking to unearth the mysterious of this life.

“Don’t find a way out the situation, find a way through it”.

In life, you may burn on the inside without anyone realizing that there is a fire that is scorching hot & flaming from within. As I have heard time & time again being said, “who do I talk to about the raging battles that are within?” Is there really anyone who is going to be there for me, when am trying to calm the storm within. This earth is really hard & what is expected of one is a lot. You have to be responsible, dutiful, industrious & so on. No matter how much you try to explain, no one wants to carry your mental baggage (as it is defined) for you. The most common saying that I have observed over a long time is this, “kila mtu na shida zake” for the English readers the translation is, “every person to deal with his/her own problems”. 

How sad that this is the harsh reality that is waiting for us outside there in the world, especially now that we are in the thick of the Corona era. No one wants to listen to you, everywhere you turn, you are an outcast & get to be considered the bottom of the barrel. We have a tendency to listen to everything that is around us with the belief that it is the truth or the actual representation of what is being said to be. Gossip is so enticing like the forbidden fruit at the Garden of Eden. Eve tasted it & saw that it was juicy & tantalizing & decided she should also share with Adam in the new discovery. Just like that it all came crumbling down like the walls of Jericho, with them been sent into the world to fend for themselves.

“You don’t know pain until you crave a conversation with someone who is no longer alive”.

We have a weakness to consume all that we hear & our curiosity is heightened even more by the thrill of taking in this new unknown phenomena. In other times, when we hear a rumor about ourselves we tend to take it personally. In such a way that it affects you on how you do your things, how you reason, how you think others think of you, how you conduct yourself & so on. Other times we hear that tribe such & such has done this & that, without authenticating what is being voiced by others. It is like a default setting in us that we can’t help ourselves but be enslaved in the hearsay that is out there. 

When you make yourself a conduit of taking everything that is thrown your way, you become like a trash can. Swallowing everything without any filter, clogging your reasoning of that which is sanitized & meant for your consumption. We need to take a moment & just stop ourselves in our tracks & ask where am I going with this. There are times that you need to come to the realization that, it is all a waste of time to listen to every rumor, gossip, story without confirming its truthfulness. Do not let your mind become the dumping site for unworthy information. 

Check yourself & ask, this which I am listening to, is it going to help me improve, change my ways, make me a better person, and help me grow? If not, you need to burn that rope round your waist by distancing yourself from gossipers, time wasters & rumor mongers. If you are one who helps others to improve themselves, remind yourself that if II am doing anything for someone, I do it out of my own heart & free will. If I do it with the expectation of something in return then that is known as business. As you take life head on, you may not feel like as if the odds are stacked against you. Remember “You are blessed & highly favoured”. 

Life has become so cruel that we have seen many people getting bullied in the internet through social platforms, for how or what they are as well as their ideologies. We need to step up & be our brothers/sisters keepers & not let them fall. Do you know that peace of mind is key in every single one of us? Did you know that if you don’t yell at someone they can still get the message you want to pass accross? Did you know, if you don’t put someone down every time, that it will bright their day to know that there are times they are doing something right? Did you know that if you listen to your partner & stop being selfish that it is easier to reciprocate? (anyway this are just my thoughts you don’t have to take them seriously)

Just because you are hurting that does not mean that you are not healing. Hurting can be a part of healing, pain can be a part of healing. Ask an athlete who has gone through a traumatic injury. He/she knows that in order to accelerate the process to get back on the field or to get back on the court. He/she has got to go through rehab and rehab sometimes can be more painful than the injury itself but that season of pain is accelerating oneself back to where they are called to be. So maybe, your pain is just rehab acceleration to get you to what God is calling you to be.

“God is in control, no matter what you are going through. No matter what you are dealing with. Even if it doesn’t look like it is going the way you wanted to go. Even if it is painful, even if you just seem to be losing it and everything seems to be falling apart around, you”. – Isaac Frere

Everlasting Father up in heaven, I come before you a sinner. I ask for your forgiveness & love in my life. Lord, I am not perfect but I am your child seeking your will in my life. Guide me as I journey to become a better person. I am unworthy but the blood of your son Jesus Christ washes me white as snow. Jehovah Jireh, may your will in my life prevail. Show me the way to follow & be at the center of it all. In all that I do, may it be in accordance to your way. In Jesus holy name I pray, amen!