YOU ARE TRUE TO ME!

I have reached my break point & I can't hold on any more. I think it is best if I just let go of the rope & fall into the abyss, getting engulfed with the sweet darkness. It seems that I can no longer do right by your side, I am a letdown. I drown myself in my sorrows knowing that I am unworthy. 

Why did I even come to be in existence, if all I do is go to the left & not do right by you. Who am I to keep on failing day after day after day? If I could just take one little sip of nectar, to quiet the noise & let the darkness engulf me like its long lost friend as I lay to rest for the last time. 

It will only be peace that shall surround me as I take it all in being at a place of serenity. It is so tiring that every day I have to face life head on, make decisions, live with consequences & be responsible. There are times that one holds a conversation with the ripper, as he beckons with his bony hands to draw closer, whispering ‘embrace your fate’. 

The light dimming all around you as you lift your hands in surrender, resigning to fate. No one said that the journey of life will be these torturous, every day you draw your sword, breathing heavily as you ready for battle. You must slay your foe, be it doubt, despair, stress, tiredness, fatigue, hurt, pain, instability, insecurity & so on. 

There are moments that will come that you will want to hide from the rest of the world even your own family, & as you do so, don’t forget who was there for you. As you will not want to lose those who held you close & gave you a shoulder in your hour of need. No one is an island & we can in no way rewind the hand of time. 

Those whom you cherish, keep close like a garden secret because when you will lose them your heart shall bleed & flow like the river Ewaso Ng’iro. This is the realty of life, today is a gift that is why it is called the present. As you sail through the vast ocean of woes, pondering what lays ahead, you are going to face as you brace yourself for the war ahead. 

You will become a victor in your battles, never forgetting what it is that you are forged from. Like a worthy blacksmith, hammering away at the defects, you are molded by that which you endure & bulldoze through. No great person reached their full potential by taking it easy, but rather pushing themselves to understand their true form & what it is that they can take. 

I keep on telling myself on a daily basis, “no matter how bad it is, how bad it gets, I am going to make it. If I fall, I shall try landing on my back, because if I can look up, I can get up”. I want you to know that you are not a nobody, you are a somebody, who fought his greatest battle so as to come into existence from the very womb you emerged. 

You may fall but you will not stay down, no matter how many times you burst into flames, you shall rise up from the ashes like the phoenix. We all need to stop avoiding the tough conversations because we think we are being polite or kind to people. We have to be blunt about life & the way it is taking us & how it is making us question our living. 

When we tell others what it is they want to hear, it in no way helps them but rather leaves a more damaging mark in their lives. We are who we are by the mere fact of our existence but that does not mean that we have to conform to how the world wants us to be. Here is a warning ladies & gentlemen, I would like to bring to us. Everything you murmur about, you murder, everything you grumble about, will crumble. 

n life whatever you complain about, you will not retain. Murmuring is a bold declaration to God that there is nothing that He has done for you. Every time you complain about an issue, you are throwing mud in God’s face & telling him that there is nothing that you have done for me, you don’t deserve my praise, you don’t deserve my thanks giving. 

We need to learn to be grateful for the little things in our lives, don’t let what you have built crumble because of lack of thanks giving. Life is a collection of mistakes, you will never learn if you don’t make them. Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way. When you get what you want, that is God’s direction. 

When you don’t get what you want that is God’s protection. Prepare for the things that you pray for, because sometimes the delay is your preparation. What is the real motivation, why should I live right, why should I not have relations before marriage, why should I try to follow God’s way, you know why? 

This is because when you close your eyes & take your last breath, you are going to be faced with the reality of what life is really about & now what you see, you can’t choose. You are going to see the light, you are going to see the darkness. & you are going to make a choice then but it is going to be too late because Jesus said, ‘you did not know me while I was on earth & I am going to deny you before my Father that I don’t know you.

Imagine God saying this to you, “For the person that need to hear this today, your heart will heal (Psalms:147:3), your tears will dry (revelation 21:4), your season will change (Isaiah 41:10), so rest tonight knowing that the storm will end (Matthew 8:26)”.

Dear loving God, it is a blessing to be alive today & every other day. I have no idea what today will bring my way, but I want to put my day into your able hands. In all that I do, may it be in accordance to your will. You are Jehovah Jireh, you are Jehovah Nissi. Amen! 

Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”.