PASSING BY!

How did I get myself in this situation? At first it felt so sweet, adventurous, hidden & no one the wiser. Look at me now, my relationship is sinking fast like a ship with gaping holes readying to get lost at the bottom of the ocean. Why did I have to talk behind his/her back? What was I thinking? Look at all the damage that I have done. What have I now become: mean, angry, jealous, selfish & self-centered, all for what? I am losing family & friends quicker than I can say. “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”. 

I am constantly worried by the mere thought of, what if! Yet before, I was a free spirit minding my own & caring more of what I thought of myself than what others thought of me. To stumble is not to fall & to be or not to be that is indeed the question. I am not okay. I am holding onto life by a very thin blade of grass, grasping at what I can, not to fall. The rope wound up round my wrist bites deep into my flesh, as I refuse to let it go. 

Fearing that if I do, I will fall with nothing to keep me safe & secure. No time do we feel comfortable with the unfamiliar but rather are unsettled. We fear what we don't know & hide behind the known. I am not okay. It burns on the inside, like a searing pain etched in my brain. Why does it hurt so much? The weight of it all is way more than anticipated or expected. It was all a lie, to be grown & independent. It is not every time that you hear the war cry that you have to arm yourself ready for war. 

There are moments when you just have to let go of your battle gear & just walk away. It is wise to note that not every action requires a reaction. At times, getting that peace of mind matters more than what the society thinks of you. Each moment that we have the breath of life, we need to be thankful. Seeing another day is not an automatic right. You might one day experience the light at the end of the tunnel moment with no return policy. 

Such are the moments that scare people the most as they are unpredictable like the coming of Christ. There you are, one day just minding your own business then poof all of a sudden you disappear like mist. You better watch out how you carry yourself in this realm as it is not a permanent gig. Do you recall when you were young, your parents or guardians always undertook to take photos of the moment. This was so as to preserve the precious memories unlike the current times when selfies & quick snaps are for clout. 

Times have changed but how we conduct ourselves at the get go is the determination of the trajectory of what we hope our lives will take. No one prepares you for life, it has no manual & every day is a school day as class is in session. New things pop up every now & then & you are left wondering how am I going to survive this. There is a harsh reality outside there. When someone is treating you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. You ought to know your worth, for no coin resembles the other no matter how you aim to create perfection. 

We are all forged in different fires to come out as we are. Ready or not, you will be thrown into the real world to fend for yourself. The question that will be ringing in your ears will be, “can I handle this?’. You better brace yourself for the scorching fire that shall descend upon you like the hail of Sodom & Gomorrah. Keep yourself in check & have set principles that become your beacon to others of who you are. If I may ask, “if your name is called out loud amongst your peers will it be one, others would be comfortable being associated with or would it be one, others will want to be distanced with like the black plague?”. 

Your walk on this earth ought to leave a legacy behind that generations to come will look up to & not cower from it. Do you know what the saddest thing is? The people who are most hurting, who are broken, who are suffering, who are in pain, they will do absolutely anything for anybody. This is because they do not want anyone else going through that pain, that suffering but in doing so, they even break even more because no one else does that for them.

“When I say I am blessed. I don’t mean money or material things. I mean situations that were sent to destroy me but didn’t even touch my soul”. 

When someone is not right for you, God is going to allow that person to disappoint you, disrespect you, embarrass you & maybe even make you feel like you are alone when you are with them until you have no choice but to leave. Sometimes you need to feel the pain and sting of defeat to activate the real passion and purpose that God has predestined inside of you. God says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. 

There is always a test before promotion. God will give the hardest battles to the strongest warriors. So, understand that before the next blessing walking in your life, it’s going to be a test. Anything that is worth having if going to be hard to get. You have got to be able to see that what it is that you are going through right now, you feel like it is killing you, is really just preparing you for what God has got coming next. 

Dear Lord, thank you for the breath in my lungs this morning. Thank you for waking me up & giving me another chance at this life. Thank you for this warm day & the roof over my head. I am sorry God for anything that I take for granted on a daily basis. Please posture my heart to see all the good in today. I pray that you would protect me, replacing anxiety with peace & worry with joy. Blanket me in your strength as you fight battles for me. I pray that you would open doors that need to be opened & slam shut the ones that you need closed. I pray for my heart, that it would seek refuge in you before anything else. Lord, please make me a vessel for your kingdom & if things don’t go as planned, please remind my heart that your plan is far greater. Let my eyes see & my ears hear your voice today. Amen!!!

WE MOVE FORWARD!

Aluta Continua! The soldiers marched on with stern faces, expressionless, determined to win the war that had been waged unceremoniously. They were the last resort that had to be looked up to as all else had failed. Their Commander barking orders left, right & center, eager to have a face-off with the enemy. 

It was going to be cold nights & hot days as the weather seemed to sense the feeling in the atmosphere. Left – Right, Left – Right, Left – Right, Left – Right, Forward March! Off they go marching steadily, weapons at the ready, with bayonets sharpened to the extent it could cut a piece of paper in strips. 

Each side of the divide readying itself for the bloody outcome. This, with the full instructions of their leaders to leave no survivors, they rallied them, cheered them on & pushed them on, to go out in a blaze of glory to regain back their motherland. This is indeed the cost of war, sacrifices have to be made, preparations done, loses expected, wins anticipated & a fulfilling end in the horizon. 

When we are traversing through life as adults we get to experience the true meaning of what it means to be one. The transit is one of a kind for each & every one of us that when we put our feet up on the table we go like, “what a day”. No one gears you up for the day to be as you plan your next course of action to fend for yourself. 

You find yourself thrown from the frying pain directly into the fire & gasoline added to the flames. You will either come out burned to a crisp or forged into fine steel. There are times you are asked, where are you going? You answer home. You are further asked where is home? 

I would answer, home, is a place where I can go, to take the weight of the world off my shoulders. I am assuming others would say home is where they current physically live. No one wants to face the reality that we are stuck on the material & the things of the world. Our belief is of the things that we can taste, see or touch. 

There is so much pain out here that we don’t talk about it. Most of the times, when we are with our click we make it look like as if everything in life is going on smoothly with no setbacks. I can’t fault anyone considering that when we were brought into this world our programming was that you should keep it to yourself & brave the pain. 

Why should you keep it all bottled up like a jinni in a lamp. We ought to let loose, that is why we have books that one can get engrossed in, exercises that we can do, sports that we can participate in, adventures we can be part of, social factions that we can join, talk to someone you trust & can lean on & so forth. 

We are all going through a lot & one thing I can tell you, is you need to get out from behind the bars of the prison that is your mind. Yes, life is not fair. Yes, we are getting tired on a daily. Yes, we are in a chaotic economic times. Yes, we have a lot of bills to handle. Yes, a good number of people are living hand to mouth. 

Yes, we are having major wars between countries. Yes, the rona is still with us. Yes, the price of things is absurd. Yes, life is feeling like a battle field. However, you need to take a moment, sit down & reflect on the blessings in your life. You ask which ones. 

Let me give you but a few examples: you are alive today & breathing, you have the use of your limbs it may not be all of them but some of them, you have food to fill your belly, you have clothes to cover your nakedness & protect you from the elements, you have a place you can live in, you have people who love you & so on. 

Let it not be that every time life tries to put you down, you yield in defeat. Rather clench your fists & get ready to fight for your rightful place for here it is sweat & blood to the end. There even comes a time when people leave you. Your friends might leave you, yout family might leave you. 

Those you never expected will actually distance themselves. Don't get depressed, this is God telling you, it is you & Him. God is here for you & will always be here. Nobody really tells you this, “Never let anybody make you cruel, no matter how bad you want to give the world a taste of its own medicine, it is never worth losing yourself”. 

Your own identity should not be corrupted by the ways of this world that you become so tainted that when you look in the mirror you can’t even recognize yourself. Let me tell you something that you already know, the world is not all sunshine & rainbows. 

It is a very mean & nasty place & I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees & keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, nobody is going to hit hard as life. But it is not about how hard you are hit, it is about how hard you can get hit & keep moving forward. How much you can take & keep moving forward. 

Now, if you know what you are worth, now go out & get what you are worth. But you must be willing to take the hits & not pointing fingers saying, “I am not where I am supposed to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that & that is not you. You are better than that. 

Heavenly Father, I come before you today just as I am. I am desperately in need of your miracles in my life every day. There is nothing so difficult for you. Let your mighty hands rest on everything that concerns my life. Restore joy & happiness into my life & into my family. Save me from every wall of confusion that threatens to destroy my life. I speak your miracles into everything that I do. Open wonderful doors unto me Lord. I remove everything that blocks my blessings & finances in Jesus name. Lead me Lord into prosperity. I commit my ways to you Lord, take complete charge over my life & let your will be done. Manifest yourself powerfully in my life, cause me to shine wherever I go. Let the blessings of the Lord be released upon my life. Thank you Lord for your wonderful miracles that follow me every day of my life. In Jesus mighty name I pray, Amen!