I AM OKAY!

I want you to know that I am okay, I am not saying this just for the sake of it. Thank you, for checking up on me, not many people do, as most are unbothered & some don’t care. It has been one heck of a roller coaster. Who would have thought that I will need to be forged in the hot blazing fire to come out alright? It is indeed well with my soul, for now I have attained peace & the appreciation of the very gift of life. 

Such should be the words emanating from you as you sit down knowing that someone else cares about you. Most times, it is like the world has decided you are on your own. I want you to know that someone, somewhere cares about you. It may not feel like it, but remember that even when you were growing up, there were moments you were left to do things by yourself. Learning from our actions, you would be put on that bicycle & told to cycle, after being guided for some time it would reach a point you can do it on your own. 

Off you would go by yourself knowing that there is someone watching over you. No matter how many times you fell, you knew you were going to be alright. The joy of it all being soaked in the unending love is a miracle in itself. The moment you get embraced in a warm, loving, gentle & engulfing hug from someone who means the world to you, he/she stills the volcano within from erupting. How you take on life & brace for impact is crucial for you launching yourself like a guided missile ready to hit the target.

Our journey on this realm is like no other & there are moments that you will feel like London’s bridge is burning down only to realize it is the false wall crumbling to the reality of what your destiny is meant to be. We are all gifted in one thing or another & no one is the same. Even twins though they look alike & have the same DNA marker, their finger prints are different. When you come to the realization that you are on a journey of a 1,000 miles, the very first step you take carries more weight than you know. 

Nobody really tells you this, "never let anybody make you cruel. No matter how bad you want to give the world a taste of its own medicine, it is never worth losing yourself". We are but passengers in the aircraft of life, cruising through the altitude. The storms may rage, the clouds may gather, the winds may blow but how we steer through it all, will either break us or make us. You live, you die & never mistake the truth that is, no matter what it is you have in this world you will leave it all behind you. 

When you meet with others remember that we shall all go six feet under in a box that will have tombstone that will read the words felt by your loved ones. Every action that you do or take has a reaction to it & it is upon you, even as you go about fulfilling your dreams to question yourself as to the kind of impact that you are leaving behind. There are moments that you will seek the serenity of the quiet times when you are away from others. 

Soaking in your own thoughts like the rug in a Molotov cocktail all ready to be set ablaze. One strike of the match stick & the world around you will either burn to the ground or lit up like a Christmas tree beaconing to others to drawn near for warmth. Lost you may be, but let your heart be the compass to your true nature & self. Leaving no regrets behind as time flies by with no rewind button to push. 

When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person that walked into it. When you can’t control what is happening to you, control how you respond to it as that is where your power is. We are molded by the hands of the sculptor & it is up to us to decided, 'am I in this world to build or destroy' as the choice lies with you. I am no saint & many times do I fall short of the glory of the Almighty Father up in heaven. 

One thing I have learned is, no matter how many times I fall, I will dust myself up, get up & try again. Each dawn comes with a gift as the sun rays thaws away those icy thoughts. You are greater than you think, your mind is your prisoner & you are your own warden. If you decide to let lose you would be surprised with your capability. Who said that you can’t do it? It is said that we fear that which we don’t understand & indeed the lack of knowledge makes us perish. 

We hold on tight to the rope that is tied around our waist that we don’t want to explore other options while living. Fighting tooth & nail to hang onto the old, cuddling closer to the old familiar self. What do you think will happen if you let go so that you can climb the ladder right in front of you. We are emotional beings controlled by what we feel on the inside. There are moments that you can be filled with rage/anger, clogged with pain, awash with despair, confused by love, choked with hate, tied with misery & so forth. However, when you take in your next breath of air, ask yourself, “Is that all?” No one is meant to be shackled to what life throws at them forever. 

Here is an extract from a play by Madea, “What am I supposed to do now? Get up & go on with your life! It is alright to sit around & be depressed for a minute, cry about it, do what you have to do but don’t stay in the same state for too long, get up & go on with your life. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let them go. Especially if you know, you have done everything you can do, you can sit around and having been the best man or the best woman you could be & they still want to go, let them go”. – Madea

There are 4 sentences that will make you rethink life. Number 1: happiness is not the absence of problems, it is the ability to deal with them. Number 2: feeling sad after making a decision, does not meant that it was the wrong decision. Number 3: you are not stressed because you are doing too much, you are stressed because you are doing too little of what makes you feel most alive. Number 4: the lesson you struggle with repeats itself, until you learn from it. 

If your ever get time to soak yourself in the 66 book love letter (the bible) written for us, you will pick up solutions to issues we face on a daily basis. It is key to remember, “Sometimes God closes doors because it is time to move forward. He knows you won’t move unless your circumstances force you. Trust the transition, God’s got you”. Let us pray: Dear God, if I am wrong, correct me. If I am lost, guide me. If I start to give up, keep me going. Amen!

YOU ARE TRUE TO ME!

I have reached my break point & I can't hold on any more. I think it is best if I just let go of the rope & fall into the abyss, getting engulfed with the sweet darkness. It seems that I can no longer do right by your side, I am a letdown. I drown myself in my sorrows knowing that I am unworthy. 

Why did I even come to be in existence, if all I do is go to the left & not do right by you. Who am I to keep on failing day after day after day? If I could just take one little sip of nectar, to quiet the noise & let the darkness engulf me like its long lost friend as I lay to rest for the last time. 

It will only be peace that shall surround me as I take it all in being at a place of serenity. It is so tiring that every day I have to face life head on, make decisions, live with consequences & be responsible. There are times that one holds a conversation with the ripper, as he beckons with his bony hands to draw closer, whispering ‘embrace your fate’. 

The light dimming all around you as you lift your hands in surrender, resigning to fate. No one said that the journey of life will be these torturous, every day you draw your sword, breathing heavily as you ready for battle. You must slay your foe, be it doubt, despair, stress, tiredness, fatigue, hurt, pain, instability, insecurity & so on. 

There are moments that will come that you will want to hide from the rest of the world even your own family, & as you do so, don’t forget who was there for you. As you will not want to lose those who held you close & gave you a shoulder in your hour of need. No one is an island & we can in no way rewind the hand of time. 

Those whom you cherish, keep close like a garden secret because when you will lose them your heart shall bleed & flow like the river Ewaso Ng’iro. This is the realty of life, today is a gift that is why it is called the present. As you sail through the vast ocean of woes, pondering what lays ahead, you are going to face as you brace yourself for the war ahead. 

You will become a victor in your battles, never forgetting what it is that you are forged from. Like a worthy blacksmith, hammering away at the defects, you are molded by that which you endure & bulldoze through. No great person reached their full potential by taking it easy, but rather pushing themselves to understand their true form & what it is that they can take. 

I keep on telling myself on a daily basis, “no matter how bad it is, how bad it gets, I am going to make it. If I fall, I shall try landing on my back, because if I can look up, I can get up”. I want you to know that you are not a nobody, you are a somebody, who fought his greatest battle so as to come into existence from the very womb you emerged. 

You may fall but you will not stay down, no matter how many times you burst into flames, you shall rise up from the ashes like the phoenix. We all need to stop avoiding the tough conversations because we think we are being polite or kind to people. We have to be blunt about life & the way it is taking us & how it is making us question our living. 

When we tell others what it is they want to hear, it in no way helps them but rather leaves a more damaging mark in their lives. We are who we are by the mere fact of our existence but that does not mean that we have to conform to how the world wants us to be. Here is a warning ladies & gentlemen, I would like to bring to us. Everything you murmur about, you murder, everything you grumble about, will crumble. 

n life whatever you complain about, you will not retain. Murmuring is a bold declaration to God that there is nothing that He has done for you. Every time you complain about an issue, you are throwing mud in God’s face & telling him that there is nothing that you have done for me, you don’t deserve my praise, you don’t deserve my thanks giving. 

We need to learn to be grateful for the little things in our lives, don’t let what you have built crumble because of lack of thanks giving. Life is a collection of mistakes, you will never learn if you don’t make them. Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way. When you get what you want, that is God’s direction. 

When you don’t get what you want that is God’s protection. Prepare for the things that you pray for, because sometimes the delay is your preparation. What is the real motivation, why should I live right, why should I not have relations before marriage, why should I try to follow God’s way, you know why? 

This is because when you close your eyes & take your last breath, you are going to be faced with the reality of what life is really about & now what you see, you can’t choose. You are going to see the light, you are going to see the darkness. & you are going to make a choice then but it is going to be too late because Jesus said, ‘you did not know me while I was on earth & I am going to deny you before my Father that I don’t know you.

Imagine God saying this to you, “For the person that need to hear this today, your heart will heal (Psalms:147:3), your tears will dry (revelation 21:4), your season will change (Isaiah 41:10), so rest tonight knowing that the storm will end (Matthew 8:26)”.

Dear loving God, it is a blessing to be alive today & every other day. I have no idea what today will bring my way, but I want to put my day into your able hands. In all that I do, may it be in accordance to your will. You are Jehovah Jireh, you are Jehovah Nissi. Amen! 

Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”.