TAKE OUT THE TRASH!

Let me ask you a simple question (I believe it is simple). How come, when one falls ill & has medical bills that are hefty & requiring to be paid, the ones who call themselves friends/family only chip in half-heartedly to clear the same & yet at the death of one during the funeral arrangements what is contributed is staggering, going above & beyond & going for one’s funeral is considered a road trip? It is just a question, you don’t have to hurl insults my way or throw stones at me. I only come in peace, no hidden agenda but rather looking to unearth the mysterious of this life.

“Don’t find a way out the situation, find a way through it”.

In life, you may burn on the inside without anyone realizing that there is a fire that is scorching hot & flaming from within. As I have heard time & time again being said, “who do I talk to about the raging battles that are within?” Is there really anyone who is going to be there for me, when am trying to calm the storm within. This earth is really hard & what is expected of one is a lot. You have to be responsible, dutiful, industrious & so on. No matter how much you try to explain, no one wants to carry your mental baggage (as it is defined) for you. The most common saying that I have observed over a long time is this, “kila mtu na shida zake” for the English readers the translation is, “every person to deal with his/her own problems”. 

How sad that this is the harsh reality that is waiting for us outside there in the world, especially now that we are in the thick of the Corona era. No one wants to listen to you, everywhere you turn, you are an outcast & get to be considered the bottom of the barrel. We have a tendency to listen to everything that is around us with the belief that it is the truth or the actual representation of what is being said to be. Gossip is so enticing like the forbidden fruit at the Garden of Eden. Eve tasted it & saw that it was juicy & tantalizing & decided she should also share with Adam in the new discovery. Just like that it all came crumbling down like the walls of Jericho, with them been sent into the world to fend for themselves.

“You don’t know pain until you crave a conversation with someone who is no longer alive”.

We have a weakness to consume all that we hear & our curiosity is heightened even more by the thrill of taking in this new unknown phenomena. In other times, when we hear a rumor about ourselves we tend to take it personally. In such a way that it affects you on how you do your things, how you reason, how you think others think of you, how you conduct yourself & so on. Other times we hear that tribe such & such has done this & that, without authenticating what is being voiced by others. It is like a default setting in us that we can’t help ourselves but be enslaved in the hearsay that is out there. 

When you make yourself a conduit of taking everything that is thrown your way, you become like a trash can. Swallowing everything without any filter, clogging your reasoning of that which is sanitized & meant for your consumption. We need to take a moment & just stop ourselves in our tracks & ask where am I going with this. There are times that you need to come to the realization that, it is all a waste of time to listen to every rumor, gossip, story without confirming its truthfulness. Do not let your mind become the dumping site for unworthy information. 

Check yourself & ask, this which I am listening to, is it going to help me improve, change my ways, make me a better person, and help me grow? If not, you need to burn that rope round your waist by distancing yourself from gossipers, time wasters & rumor mongers. If you are one who helps others to improve themselves, remind yourself that if II am doing anything for someone, I do it out of my own heart & free will. If I do it with the expectation of something in return then that is known as business. As you take life head on, you may not feel like as if the odds are stacked against you. Remember “You are blessed & highly favoured”. 

Life has become so cruel that we have seen many people getting bullied in the internet through social platforms, for how or what they are as well as their ideologies. We need to step up & be our brothers/sisters keepers & not let them fall. Do you know that peace of mind is key in every single one of us? Did you know that if you don’t yell at someone they can still get the message you want to pass accross? Did you know, if you don’t put someone down every time, that it will bright their day to know that there are times they are doing something right? Did you know that if you listen to your partner & stop being selfish that it is easier to reciprocate? (anyway this are just my thoughts you don’t have to take them seriously)

Just because you are hurting that does not mean that you are not healing. Hurting can be a part of healing, pain can be a part of healing. Ask an athlete who has gone through a traumatic injury. He/she knows that in order to accelerate the process to get back on the field or to get back on the court. He/she has got to go through rehab and rehab sometimes can be more painful than the injury itself but that season of pain is accelerating oneself back to where they are called to be. So maybe, your pain is just rehab acceleration to get you to what God is calling you to be.

“God is in control, no matter what you are going through. No matter what you are dealing with. Even if it doesn’t look like it is going the way you wanted to go. Even if it is painful, even if you just seem to be losing it and everything seems to be falling apart around, you”. – Isaac Frere

Everlasting Father up in heaven, I come before you a sinner. I ask for your forgiveness & love in my life. Lord, I am not perfect but I am your child seeking your will in my life. Guide me as I journey to become a better person. I am unworthy but the blood of your son Jesus Christ washes me white as snow. Jehovah Jireh, may your will in my life prevail. Show me the way to follow & be at the center of it all. In all that I do, may it be in accordance to your way. In Jesus holy name I pray, amen!

MAN UP!

That is it, I am done! We can't keep on, keeping quiet like as if we are not noticing that you are hurting on the inside. Why are you looking puzzled or confused? Is that not the truth? You are expected to brave it, keeping it together, showing no emotion, showing no sign of weakness. 

Is that where society has reached with us that we are mindless fools who only conform to its rules. That we cannot think on our own but have to follow society’s expectations of us. That my friend is the kind of slavery that I cannot conform to nor will I stand for. 

I want all the men to know that, it is okay not to be okay & you do not have to apologize for it. This world is continuously bashing men for not doing this & not feeling that. Has anyone taking a moment, breathed in, breathed our, taken a step back & think, that what is been done is breaking the men. 

I got to watch a clip on a social media platform where a woman asked, for men to be honest who do they call when they are at their lowest, who is that one person. The answers given by the men were “nobody I am a man, no one cares”, “not a single soul, nobody”, “no one, cause am all alone”, “I don’t call anyone”, “no one, I am a man”, “no one, not a single person”, “I wouldn’t call anyone, I would not turn to a single person on this earth because they don’t care, they will just find a way to use it against me”. 

Have we sunk this low that men can’t talk to anyone of the fiery abyss within? Where did the trust go, where did the shoulder to lean on go, where did, “I got you” go, where is “you can always count on me” go? Was this all just a joke or a façade to just falsely hype up ones feelings, only to crush it underfoot like a pesky pest/insect. 

How the mighty have fallen all like a tree trunk because they had no one to be there for them. The sad reality is that even our fellow men put us down stating that we should be strong & everything will be okay. How now? A man should not show emotion, a man should not be vulnerable, a man should be like Rambo. 

There are moments one is battling with demons of mammoth proportions & is unable to even explain what is happening to them. You try to say it & all context is thrown out the window. It is said, always try & say a kind word to whomever you meet along your path, you never know what someone is going through. 

I am lost in thought, wondering why it came to such a drastic end. No one listens, cares or even looks our way all because everything has crumbled. It is okay not to be okay. Did you take a moment to check on your friend & see how they are doing or it is every man for himself, God for us all. 

Shame on you, if you have ever failed to be there for someone whom you told that no matter, they can count on you. The betrayal, the pain that weighs down, no words can explain it. Why do we treat each other like as if we are enemies behind closed doors but when in the open world with others, we are like friends for life.

Did you know that the problem that we men have is that we want to fix everything in the world except ourselves. This is because we have been taught that everything in the world is more important than us. I don’t think we understand how little validation men get. 

Women will get compliments for just being women, you will get validation for being a certain gender. Men will get hated on for being men. Understand that men will get their first flowers at their funerals, very few compliments in the course of the year & get almost no validation in their relationships, it is usually about their women. 

Women will be flooded with attention, complements, positivity from a young age. That is an amazing and beautiful thing but you have to understand that men don’t get that. That is why, when you just compliment a man, it lights him up. Men really go through a lot of stuff, they are expected to provide, support, protect, take care of themselves, with no reassurance from the world whatsoever. 

Anyway, that is just how it is, aluta continua! My friend this is the reality in the world that over decades has remained constant & never changing. We need to be better than this & change how we look at things. It is not a must but as I said, you never know what you say or do for someone who you expect nothing in return from, how it will impact them. 

Let this be your food for thought as we progress on with this promising year. Share a hug, an encouraging word, be a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, compliment someone, don’t down play how someone is feeling & so on. I would like you to take this moment to just say this prayer: 

"Lord Jesus, I come before you as your child. Abba Father, I am a sinner fallen short of your glory. I come before you Lord, seeking your guidance, love, wisdom & understanding.  Let me be a better person, who soaks in your word in all that I do. I have judged others, I have put others down, I have disregarded those in need, I have failed as a friend. Lord I seek your mercy. I do pray that you will watch over those in need, protect them, bless them, that your love shall wash over them & make me a better person. I do pray that you shall use me as vessel of your love, Jehovah Jireh, may your will be done in my life & others whom I know & don’t know. In Jesus holy name, Amen!!!